Gestalt
by katmobile
Summary: As Jack Harkness finds his life unexpectedly on the line - he finds he makes contact with the Doctor in a similar position contemplating how they have influenced each other.


 _Ok big boy! Come and get it!_ thought Jack as he stood in front of the death-bringer demon who had been released by a combination of the machinations of that creepy Bils guy and it had to be said his team being big enough morons to fall for them and not listen to him. He couldn't be assed to remember it's name right now _not that it matters anyhow_ he thought as it drained him of life over and over and over before finally OD'ing on the endless amount of it he had now had. Except as it dropped in front of him he could feel he was about to pass out again and it felt final this time.

Then after the fade to black, he found he was lying supine on the TARDIS floor with its owner in the same position just inches from him. Well at least it looked like he remembered him except he was wearing Jack's clothes, the same ones he'd worn on that day he'd died and then somehow lost the ability to ever die again or at least he thought he had. _If I'm seeing things and then it meant the bets might be off on that one_ Jack thought _especially with the way things were a little off with this_. The guy didn't sound like the version of himself that Jack had known and could see before him but knew had changed to look like someone else when he greeted him. He was pretty sure he was dreaming or at least hallucinating and subconscious head space left to its own devices to just run with ideas could just be weird for the sheer hell of it but even so he had to at least try to find answers.

"Ok, so if you're being how I remember you why are you wearing my clothes and speaking in a voice that sounds more like Rose's than your own?," he asked.

"It is my own, well now it is," replied the Doctor. "I had to change, probably the only reason I still look like this here is that I don't actually know what I really look like anymore so my mind's eye's gone retro. Talking of retro you're wearing my old clothes too."

Jack looked down and saw he was in the black leather jacket, trousers and boots and the dark coloured v-necked top which was strange but at least explained why he felt constricted across the shoulders, back and legs, like his clothes on the Doctor, they didn't fit right. Then something else about what the guy had said hit him.

"Wait a minute, you think this is YOUR dream! I suppose it figures you know how I feel about you but you always did think the universe revolved around you!"

The Doctor laughed "and you were never full on yourself, were you?" he said. "You should be dead and I didn't want to think about that. Have you come back to haunt me or is my mind playing tricks on me?"

"If it is then mine's joined the party and I'd have to know I was dead for sure to haunt you."

"That's a pretty fundamental thing not to know and I don't know why you don't but trust me you're not."

"So you know about the problem I have with doing that then?" asked Jack flippantly.

"It's more than a problem Jack. Most problems have solutions, believe me I wish that one did," the Doctor replied seriously.

"And I thought you liked me" said Jack in his usual jokey manner, trying to disguise the fact that he was actually pretty offended.

"I do, it's what you've become that I don't."

"Hey! I didn't choose to be this!"

"I know but it doesn't change how I feel."

"That's pretty rich from a guy who goes changing his face especially blind. Most guys who go in for that at least know what they're gonna look like at the end of it. Is not the first time you've done it either! Is it a disguise thing to throw people off scent or is it just one hell of a beating you took each time made you had to."

"Usually the latter, especially this time. How do you know about my regenerations?"

"Not telling. It's my prerogative 'cause you sure as hell never told me everything!"

"True but there was always a good reason."

"Yeah, having being a leader too I get that. What I don't get how you don't know what you look like yet. You were never that image conscious but I remember there were some mirrors round the TARDIS and I even caught you shaving sometimes, did like watching you do that."

"I remember, didn't like you doing it which of course I never said because I thought you would take it as encouragement. One thing I do know if I make through this I'm going to have to do it more, I'm definitely hairier this time, I can feel it. To answer your question I haven't had time to have a look at myself yet and I'm not sure I'm going to get a chance. I'm still really in the process of changing but my body's fighting losing battle at the moment."

Jack was shocked. "You're dying?!"

"Quite probably."

"Well usually I'm good at fixing that with that stuff in me that's keeping me alive but I'm tapped out right now, hence the uncertainty this time. I was hoping you could help me with that but from what you said earlier I'm guessing that's a no?"

"Even if I was alright myself. There's nothing I can do. I'm so sorry." the Doctor said, in that concerned way Jack remembered.

"Not as sorry as I am that there's nothing I can do for you. Is there?" Jack asked equally concerned.

"I don't think so."

"Do you know how it came to this, with you dying while I can't?"

The Doctor was quiet for a minute then he said "it's to do with Rose. One of the things she said before I took anyway from her what's probably in you as well as me was 'how can I give this up I bring life'. She gave you eternal life and it looks like death to me which in fairness to her was partly due to the decision I took to take the essence of time she'd absorbed from looking into the TARDIS away from her as I thought it could cheat the death it was bringing whereas I knew she couldn't. Mind you all those Daleks including the Emperor are also dead so it was worth it or at least it would be if I could still stay on my feet long enough to defeat the latest lot invading Earth right now. Maybe you can do something about that if you regain consciousness. Although you might have deal with what hurt you enough to knock you out and make you doubt your immortality first as it must have been something very powerful and nasty to have done that."

"It was but I took it down and what I got from Rose meant I was probably the only one who could have done that. It was a life drainer but it couldn't handle the amount I had. I guess that's made this worth it too although I feel bad saying that. Like I said you know how I feel about you."

"Yes, kissing me did give it away somewhat."

"Well I don't know about you but for me it's some consolation at least that having the same crap in our veins has bound us into being some kind of gestalt entity long enough for me to get to talk to you one last time. I'm guessing that's why we're both tripping out and imagining wearing each other clothes."

"There might be more to it than that. I remember some of the last words you said to me went along the lines of you not thanking me for turning you into a hero, the clothes swap could well be your subconscious comment on that. As an immortal hero you now walk in my shoes and sacrificing yourself means you've stayed one - good for you! The world could do with more like you so do I hope you get better."

"Same for you, but you know it wasn't just you influencing me. You were learning to cut loose a little more under my sway but I know what you mean though since it seems like every day I get more serious like you were."

"No need for past tense just yet! I may be losing the battle to stay alive but as you would say it ain't over 'til it's over," said the Doctor cheerfully, sliding into a bad American accent for the last part.

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just that you said you're changing and you seem to more flip than you used to be. More like I was when we first met."

"Oh please don't say that! I don't know who I'm becoming yet and much as I like you I'm not sure I want to be the sort of bloke who has to flirt with everyone he meets."

Jack laughed, "you see, I know I'm still me as anyone else would find that offensive and you're still as much of a straight shooter with a self-righteous touch as you ever were."

"Well, now that's sorted all I have to do is live through this," he paused as if thinking for a moment which Jack realised was something he'd not done before or since the guy now talked more now it was more obvious. He pulled a face which is not something Jack had seen him do before either. "I think I've got reinforcements in the battle coming. Can you smell that?" he said.

"Whatever it is - nope." Jack replied truthfully, he couldn't smell a thing.

"That's my elixir that is." the Doctor said inhaling deeply and then he exhaled the same golden vapour that Jack had seen coming from his own mouth as he breathed it into others.

"Yours is coming too. I can feel it. I suppose you want some of this before I go out and get a party started on a Saturday night, well I think it's a Monday morning actually but it's still Christmas Day, which is a time for presents on this planet, so Merry Christmas," he continued before leaning over to kiss him.

Jack awoke to being kissed but he wasn't looking into the Doctor's pale blue eyes but Gwen's big brown ones and he knew it was her who'd been kissing him, which was still a pretty good way to wake up. He was glad that they didn't put people away in the mortuary at Torchwood naked - he had nothing he didn't mind other people seeing but it would have made things awkward for her, that type of thing was a much bigger deal in the early 21st century than it was in his own time and he didn't want her to want him when she needed to hang onto to what she had with that regular guy she lived with to help keep her human in the best sense of the word. Getting up off the drawer and onto his feet he could see the rest of the gang nearby looking for their absolution. He cared for them all too deeply to refuse them in spite of their combined Judas act and the fact that it wasn't the first time they managed to make him feel like a dad in charge of a bunch of unruly kids. Then his eyes fell on the pretty face of the baby of the group smiling that cute smile and he realised that knowing what he would be up to with that guy later meant hanging onto that thought was a little too kinky even for him.

It wasn't as if he didn't get how they got conned into betraying him. It was all about what you wanted that had been taken from you or that you'd lost and missed. Gwen reminded him of how he felt like that about some things by asking him what would have tempted him. Then he remembered suddenly that he'd been dreaming of that right type of doctor when Gwen woke him up although annoyingly, apart from the kiss, he couldn't remember what the hell it had been about. He wondered if that guy was on his mind so much because of the answers to the important questions he had or if it was just his allure of being Mr. Unobtainable - the hero guy who got away. If he was honest it was probably a touch of both.

Later on he understood what they meant by being careful what you wished for as the guy's hand started to twitch in its jar and he heard a familiar sound of an approaching craft that he'd last heard leaving him what was now an age ago. He remembered that the coma dream he'd had of the Doctor had something to do with gestalt and now he was off running to find out how much there was in that. This wasn't...THE END.


End file.
